Whole30 ish: Easter Eggs, or just eggs in general

What came first? The chicken or the egg? WHO CARES! They are both delicious in both forms.  You don’t like one, try another.  I don’t like ice in my water, maybe you don’t like chicken, but you surely can’t dislike an EGG.  They are so delicious.  They are also a staple of breakfast and snacking in Whole30, or in what I am doing now…Whole9 (which is life…you just eat whole30ish most of the time-avoiding the things you know cause issues *ahem* dairy, beans, sugar- and then make decisions about the food you are going to eat and decide if it was worth it or not).

So here are some tricks for eggs that helped me out:

Poached eggs.  Let me be basic for a minute here: I. Can’t. Even! OH MY GOD. I LOVE poached eggs. Ok. So, sometimes I use my egg poacher

I bought mine at Value Village and then bought a heavy sauce pan to go with it.  You can buy them new, but they are actually attached to the pan, making them a one use item...which is dumb, and at Target they are $500. Just kidding, but this one was $2.99 and I see them at Goodwill and Value Village all the time, and I use the sauce pan to make poached eggs and other various items (paleo tortillas anyone?), making the pan useful in multiple ways.

When I'm not using my egg poacher, I use the Julia method.  I'll describe it, but there is a really helpful description and video here:

Julia, my secondary spirit animal (I still love Martha more)

So, you will need a pan, a shallow dish (I use a little cooking salt bowl, a ramekin would probably work too), slotted spoon, and a timer (or just count 1 Mississippi...).

Get your water boiling, drop in your eggs still in the shell for 10 seconds.  Pull them out with the slotted spoon.  Crack them into your ramekin (individually for this part).  Take your slotted spoon and get the water swirling.  I'm pretty aggressive about my tornado (the video I shared is not). Pour your egg into the whirlpool.  I then immediately add the other egg.  Cook until your preferred level of yolky goodness Anything longer then 4 minutes for me is no bueno, but do what you want.

Ok! Now that you have eaten breakfast, you can start some intensive meal prep and hard boil 7,000 eggs.  You might be thinking "but my hard boiled eggs always have that gross grey rim and they are so hard to peel!"  No longer my little chickadee. Steam those bad boys and your troubles will disappear!

Steamed hard boiled eggs

You will need:

a large pot

Slotted spoon

a large bowl

ice (or other frozen items)

kitchen timer (counting isn't going to cut it on this one)

Fill your pot with enough water to cover one layer of eggs (but don't put the eggs in the pot yet).

Bring the water to a boil.  Carefully place your eggs into the boiling water.  Cover and boil for 10-15 minutes (this is where you will have to trouble shoot.  Try out different lengths until you find the one that works for your stove and pot...I use a stock pot with a pretty heavy bottom and I have an electric rage.  I boil for 15 minutes).  While your eggs are boiling, get your large bowl and fill it with cold water and ice (or if you are me and don't like ice, therefore refuse to let it take up room in the freezer, throw in your jars of frozen bone broth). As soon as the timer sounds, rescue your eggs from the hot tub with a slotted spoon and place them in the ice bath.  Let them sit in there until they are cool to the touch.  Then, crack and peel them in the cold water. Sometimes I run more cold water into the bowl as I am peeling.

Another egg thing I do:

Each week I make some sort of egg grab-and-go for breakfast.  Last week I made a scramble.  I've done little egg cups in muffin tin with uncured pork.  It's easy, fast, and delicious. Here are two recipes that I made up.  good luck!

Turkey Sausage scramble

1lb ground turkey

1 16oz jar of salsa (check ingredients for sugar and other hidden garbage)

1 Anaheim chili (roasted, peeled, and diced)

1.5 tsp of all of the following: cumin, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, black pepper, paprika

1 tbsp coarse salt

1 tsp bacon fat (or another cooking fat of your choice)

10 eggs

Brown the turkey.  Drain off the fat.  Add all dry ingredients.  Once incorporated, add the chili.  Then, dump in the salsa.  Beat your eggs and pour over the meat.  Use your spatula to incorporate the eggs and meat. Taa Daa!

Egg and Meat cups

Roasted Red pepper strips

5 eggs

5 slices of uncured no sugar added pancetta 

muffin tin

salt and pepper to taste

First, oil your little muffin tin.  Do not use grape-seed oil.  That shit will stick to your tin and you'll never get it off.   Put one piece of pancetta in each muffin tin.  Add a few strips of red pepper. Crack and egg over the top. Put in the oven at 375 (sounds good, I think that's the temperature...maybe you should watch closely for this one). Cook until egg whites are firm.  

Think of all the variations and options!

Egggggggggssss.  Happy Easter!

Whole30: Chili!

Whole30: Chili, the best thing on earth.

So… I love making chili.  And I am going to share the 3 chili recipes that I have had success with thus far in my Whole30 career.  I didn’t make these up, and I really recommend that you follow @whole30recipes on Instagram...life changing.  It has given me a ton of new stuff to try out. 

I usually make one chili or soup for the week, and then two or three other entrees and rotate them for lunch and dinner.

Crock pot chili

• 1lb beef chuck
• 1 onion chopped
• 2 carrots chopped
• 2 minced garlic cloves
• 1 diced bell pepper
• 28oz can diced tomatoes (check ingredients)
• ½ cup beef stock (check ingredients)
• 1 tbsp paprika
• 1 tbsp chili powder
• 2 tsp cumin
• 2 tsp coriander
• 1 ½ tsp salt
• ½ tsp pepper

Toss in the crock pot on low for 6-8 hours.

 

Next up, Southwest Cowboy Chili from Nom Nom Paleo:

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2014/02/southwest-cowboy-chili-from-nom-nom-paleo.html

This was SPICY after letting it sit for a day.

And, last but not least (and my FAVORITE!): Bacon Bison Chili

http://www.ourpaleolife.com/2013/08/bacon-bison-chili/

You don’t have to use bison, but it’s super delicious, so you should.

Why Whole30?

Mostly, I am neurotic and always doing something.  It might be 100 consecutive days of working out, a cleanse, giving away something every day for 30 days, waking up at 4:30 am to go the gym 3 days a week, betting against myself using PACT app.  You know, crazy shit…all the time. I had heard of the Whole30 a few times.  A friend completed one and I was intrigued.  She said that she felt great and was sleeping better.

So, being me, I did research.  A lot of research.  I checked out their website, their book, blogs of people that had completed a Whole30, articles in semi-reputable magazines, yadda yadda yadda.  Then I saw an article that sealed the deal.  It was about a person with Psoriasis that completed Whole30 and got some relief. WHAT?! Relief from our uncurable condition? The plaques of itchy dry skin? The one that requires me to apply peanut oil saturated medication to my head for at least 4 hours multiple times a week? The one that also requires me to take methotrexate (low dose chemo) which makes me sleep for hours on end and feel like crap WITH NO RESULTS. The one that makes it so people think I have lice because my head itches so bad that I think I might cry if I don’t scratch it?  The one that has totally taken over my torso, looking like I have chicken pox? The disease that has annihilated my self confidence? The one that has completely removed dark colors from my wardrobe.  Requires me to do a quick “swipe  and shake” of my clothes when I enter a room.  SIGN ME UP.  Whole30, I’m with you. Oh, I might lose some weight?….bonus.

So, I studied the list of compliant foods, started following Whole30, Whole30recipes, and multiple whole30 adherents on Instagram.  I printed recipes, bought everything I needed, including some new spices and sauces, and embarked.

I already do meal prep on Sundays, so that was not an adjustment.  What was an adjustment was reading labels.  EVERY SINGLE LABEL, and discovering that sugar and soy are in almost everything. AHHHH!  Stay away from anything in a package or box is what I have learned.

So, here are my tips and tricks for a successful Whole30:

Food, Spices, Sauces

• ·         Avocado, all the avocado
• ·         Aidell’s Chicken and Apple Sausage
• ·         Eggs (you should probably just get a chicken)
• ·         Cashews
• ·         Canned Coconut Milk (yes, I know Starbucks carries it, no, it has crap in it that is not coconut or water)
• ·         Whole Chickens
• ·         Coconut Aminos
• ·         Coconut Oil
• ·         Pork shoulder
• ·         Bacon (go to Whole Foods and buy this. You have to splurge and you don’t want added sugar)
• ·         Sweet Potatoes
• ·         Lara Bars (check the ingredients, vanilla extract is a no no)

Kitchen supplies:

• ·         Crock pot
• ·         Veggetti or spiralizer
• ·         Good knives
• ·         Kitchen scissors
• ·         Slotted spoon
• ·         Tons of Rubbermaid containers (or whatever you use)

Ok, go. You’re ready.

Just kidding.  Check out Whole30.com for lists of compliant foods and the basics for the program.  But, basically: protein, healthy fat, veggies.  Cook with healthy fats,  add them to your meal (nuts in moderation, avocado….) don’t use things with added sugar or nitrates, no dairy or grains, no soy or corn or legumes (that means peanuts and beans…and other stuff). Don’t look for “paleo cookies” or other items that are technically compliant, but totally cheating because they are just a fake version of something that you are completely addicted to…like ice cream.  The point is to clear your system out for 30 days, then reintroduce things slowly so that you can pinpoint what your body is sensitive to.

I cook 3 or 4 main dishes on Sunday and portion them out.  I also portion out all of my snacks.  I then prepare some “just incase items” like a container of shredded pork, a ton of hard boiled eggs, pre-cut veggies, etc.  That way if I am feeling hangry, I just grab some stuff and cook it up.

After my first round of Whole30, I felt great. Then diet coke and I sort of started an affair that ended with me eating three boxes of Girl Scout cookies.  We broke up. You aren’t going to go hungry, but you will most likely have a wicked headache for the first few days.  Oh, and you’ll also feel waves of violence when people are eating sweet treats of delight in front of you.

So, is my Psoriasis gone? Nope. Is it better? Yes.  Autoimmune diseases are sometimes tied to inflammation, and cutting out certain foods helps with that, so I have experienced a little bit of improvement.  The other shitty thing about autoimmune diseases is that people usually have more than one, and I do.  BUT, I read an article yesterday about a person experiencing my secondary autoimmune disease and has adopted a Whole9 approach to life (check out the website or book), and her diagnosis was REVERSED. WHAT?!  So, fingers crossed, but I honestly don’t care that much….I feel better when I am eating healthy, and I am a person that needs guidelines, so this is perfect. Holler at your girl if you want some recipes.