Overnight Jar Oatmeal

We need to have some real talk. This is my serious face:

Like my pink lipstick? Neither do I. 

Anyway: Snickers and Caffeine are not food groups. So, that's what I needed to say. I feel better. Here is how I dealt with my issue, it's just a suggestion.

This recipe is from Crystal. She saved my life this summer. I was on this really healthy eating kick of starting my day with coffee and a donut from the Safeway Starbucks, not eating again until 4 which would be a Snickers Almond and either a Pink Rockstar or a Go Girl! Energy drink. Sometimes I would sneak in a burrito.  I cried, a lot. Now I know why! I was starving and full of caffeine and sugar. 

Anyway, my cry for help went out via text one night and this was what really got me back on track. Eating a good breakfast does wonders. 

You will need:

A jar or container with a lid

Oats (doesn't matter if they are minute or not)

Stuff to put in your oats 

Some sort of milk product

Isn't that super specific? My first go around I used almond milk and brown sugar. Start by putting in the oats (whatever you think is a good serving size), then pour in the milk until it covers the oats and is a little bit over (I wanted to write 2-3 centimeters, then thought you would all judge me, but now I'm doing it anyway). Drop in the other goodies, give it a little swirl or stir, put the lid on and put it in the fridge.

Go to bed. Do all those adult things like flossing, washing your face, putting on anti wrinkle cream, putting in your sexy bite guard. In the morning, you will have a delightful little treat waiting for you!  

I have done a ton of variations and so far I have found coconut dream as your milk, dried cranberries, and brown sugar are staples. There are tons of options!

Roasted Veggie and Kale Salad

So, this salad takes a lot of prep, but come fall I am imagining all sorts of variations. And, I always think that I'm going to be one of those people that preps ingredients to just have laying around in the fridge to casually toss together into an amazing salad. I think that would require me to stop making casserole and eating Mac and Cheese, so no thanks.

I had this salad at Starbucks the other day for lunch. It was pretty good, and after adding some of the salmon that I shared at the beginning of the week, it was a well rounded little meal. 

I decided to recreate it. I have some suggestions of things to do differently, and my measurements aren't exact, because generally when I cook I just throw shit in until it tastes right. So, approximations of final measurements are below, along with some smart ass remarks.

Listen to something you can sing along to while you make this, because you're going to be chopping, roasting, steaming, and tearing for a while. I chose Wavves, then put on 500 Days of Summer until I started sobbing and my new MAC mascara blinded me. Then I listened to Beachwood Sparks and Dinosaur Jr. So, do what you will.

You'll need:

A bunch of kale

1 butternut squash

1 head (bunch? Crown?) of broccoli

1 bunch of beets (approx 1lb)

1 cup cooked brown rice

1 head of red cabbage

Cooked salmon (or some other protein, I bet beans would be good, or chicken, or steak, or if you're a real hippie: tofu)

Dressing:

1/3 cup tahini

1/3 cup water

2 cloves garlic (minced)

1 tbsp sugar

Alright, get your apron on. Turn up your music and touch up your lipstick. 

Wearing lipstick while cooking is not only recommended in books about being a good hostess from the 1940s (because you never know when someone might drop by) but it keeps me from eating all the ingredients because I don't want to mess it up.

The oven is going to be at 400 F forever, so turn on a fan. 

Start prepping your ingredients. Cut your butternut squash in half lengthwise, carve out the seeds, and put 1/2 in a shallow baking dish. Put in the oven and bake for about 40 mins. The other half can go somewhere else to do something special with later (your choice...send me ideas, mine is sitting in the fridge). While this is happening, wash the rest of your produce. Cut the beets into quarters. Wash the kale, tear it into bite sized pieces and toss it in your salad spinner ($3 at ikea!!). You could use this time to cook your brown rice as well (except it won't be done yet).

Take your beets and toss them in a ziplock with olive oil and pepper. Shake it something fierce (I had a ex boyfriend tell me he missed me something fierce one time...I thought it was adorable until he got another girlfriend, anyway back to the salad). 

Place on a baking sheet in anticipation of the butternut squash being done. Pull out the squash and do a switcheroo job. As the beets are roasting, take a fork and begin trying to peel the skin off of the squash. Godspeed!

Cut it up into little squares and then repeat the ziplock olive oil trick.

Switch! Beets out, squash in.

Cut up your broccoli and steam it. You still want it to be crunchy.

Slice the cabbage.

When the squash is done let it cool. Put all if these ingredients in the fridge. Go to a Grey Gardens themed party. Go to sleep. Wake up in the morning to grey skies. Put on MAC dubonett as a "fall" alternative to your normal whore of Babylon Russian Red.

Toss everything together in a... You guessed it PYREX bowl.

Whip up your tahini dressing. Throw that in there too. Eat up!

Soy Ginger Salmon

Nom nom nom. This is pretty tasty and easy to do! I whipped up the marinade and then went to rescue my dad who had managed to lock himself out of his house. The spare key that is normally hidden was on my key chain of course, because being a hot mess runs in our family like a hot temper, being hot, and all other hot things (eating hot pockets, for example). Anyway, the salmon sat in the fridge marinating for about 6 hours.

Then, I cooked that shit up and ate it while listening to the Rilo Kiley Pandora station and drinking flavored carbonated water, because that's how I roll.

You'll need:

1 and 1/2 tbsp brown sugar

1/3 cup soy sauce (I actually used liquid aminos because I am secretly a dirty hippy)

1tbsp red pepper flakes

2tbsp honey

1tsp fresh ginger (grated)

1 clove garlic (minced)

Now, put on your apron. The more frills the better. You should probably also be wearing your new fabulous red lipstick, Ruby Woo. Matte perfection. Ok.

Put all if the ingredients in a bowl (Pyrex, duh) and whisk it up. Take your salmon fillet and toss it into a 1 gallon freezer ziplock bag. Pour the marinade in, making sure to get the brown sugar out of the bottom of the bowl. I think it's the most crucial ingredient. My grandma Joanne once made a comment about how my Uncle Scott added sugar to his spaghetti sauce. I think this was a "bad" thing. Whatever, that sauce was delicious, and sugar makes everything better. You go Uncle Scott!

Now, seal the bag and let it sit in the fridge. 

Go save your dad, then drive to school and sit at your desk. Maybe write a parent letter and make some copies. 

When you come home, get out that Skanka pan, oil that baby up and cook your salmon!

I also cooked some red potatoes as a side. Super simple: boil potatoes, drain, add dill weed and garlic salt, toss in your racist Paula Deen pan and cook with a tiny bit of olive oil until brown. 

Yum yum. Dinner is served (who needs vegetables anyway?)

Carne Asada round número dos

Ok. Take all your ingredients for yesterday with one exception: swap out the cumin for ground chipotle pepper. Don't measure anything, just guess. 

Toss all your ingredients into a blender and blend until smooth. 

Coat the steak in the mixture and let it marinate over night.

Go get your nails shellacked. Pick a super obnoxious red.

Now, because your nails look so fancy, invite your friends over to eat Carne Asada tacos. 

When they are done, they will all lay on the floor and you will play a variety of rap music including, but not limited to Ludacris, Wu Tang Clan, and Outkast.

Katie's getting married!

Carne Asada...kinda

I love mexican food. This is common knowledge. For my birthday I insisted on burritos and far too much tequila. If I am feeling sad, I go get a taco. If I'm celebrating something, I'm going to cheers you with a burrito. If I'm bored I'll go to the store and get supplies for carnitas. 

So, it's Monday, and I find myself at Central Market in Shoreline. I was hungry, so I had no right to be grocery shopping. I ended up with the most ridiculous assortment of crap (bin bin rice crackers, bulk orzo, a snickers almond, and two bottles of kombucha) but also the ingredients for Carne Asada. So... here is how I made it...I'm Irish and from Ballard, so it's SUPER authentic.

What you'll need:

1 jalapeño, gut and seed that little guy

2 cloves of garlic minced

1/4 cup olive oil

A shit ton (or handful) of cilantro, chopped

About 1 tablespoon white vinegar

Salt and pepper

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1lb steak (mine was labelled "carne Asada" but you could use flank...I think it's the same, who cares? It's beef, it's thinly sliced.)

Chop all of the shit up and whisk it together. Pour it over your meat. Let it marinate  in the fridge while you go hang out with Lindsay and eat a sandwich. Then take a nap.

After your nap, wash your face and then grill your Asada. I used my new grill pan from ikea because I live in an apartment and don't have a grill. The grill pan is Skanka brand, so it was my obvious first choice when selecting which one I needed. 

Make sure to turn in the vent for your stove and turn the burner to hi. Oil the pan so your Asada doesn't stick.

It only needs the tiniest bit of grill time. Then let it "rest" for a few minutes. I reapplied my makeup. That seemed to be the perfect amount of time.

After it is done resting, slice it up and make a taco, burrito, or whatever the hell you want.